:'( bad week :'(

It’s been a long terrible week. So many times I have ended up in tears wondering what’s the point of it all. I have been in amazing pain due to my EDS, and to top it off I’m still having problems with my teeth. Trapped nerves again this time in another tooth. The filling started to “bubble” and has started to fall out. That’s when the pain was at its worse. I also ended up with an abscess just above the tooth in question. I phoned my dentist surgery who done the work. Begged them for an appointment, explained the pain I was in was unbearable even with taking countless painkillers on a daily basis anyway. Eventually they agreed to give me an emergency appointment in mid December. That’s over a month and a half away thanks allot Gibraltar house. Starting to think it might be a better idea to have all my teeth removed and have false ones then I know I’m not going to get any more problems with them. But knowing my luck I would forget where I put them.


I have lost most faith in family and friends this week too. I don’t know if it’s because I was already depressed or it’s what’s causing the depression. I feel like I’m fighting all the time. Fighting to keep strong, keep the house reasonably tidy, to get people to understand that yes; yesterday I could walk to the shop but this moment in time I can’t get off the sofa, fighting to make my partner understand. We have fallen out many times this week over things that normally wouldn’t be worth sighing about. I am fed up of the countless number of times I have gone out my way to help my family giving up most of my childhood to look after my mum who became disabled due to EDS while I was still in school. Yet whenever I ask them for help I am made to feel guilty, like I’m taking advantage or I’m a bad mother. I am fed up of it all and I am fed up of being fed up.

That’s why tonight I have decided to crawl, yes literally, out of my pit of despair and have started yet another crochet project. This time it’s for my sister as a Xmas present. She is really into all the emo/ Goth stuff that’s going on at the moment. So I decided to crochet her a stripy “moody” scarf. I’m making good progress considering I only started 2 hours ago. So far I’m on my 6 row of colour. I hope she likes it, my dad was worried she might think it was old grannyish. If I can get it finished in time then I will make her some fingerless gloves or arm warmers as she’s mental over those too at the moment. Ill upload some pics when I can find the memory card for my camera. I know I had it last week as I uploaded pics here. Hmmmmm maybe its behind the fridge......

I’m excited and somewhat apprehensive about next week. Guess what were doing.....potty training. I gave it a trail today and Connor managed to pee in the potty twice. Admittedly he peed over other places but came and told me which is a good sign. I think it will go ok. His got the sensation most the time so I guess just see how things go. If anyone has any tips please feel free to leave a comment.

Well I got my new cross stitches come through 2 days ago. I haven’t made as much progress as I thought I would due to it being more complicated then I thought. The instructions and graph thingy are harder to read then I am used to. I won’t bother putting a picture of it up yet as there’s not that much to see.

I have been working on enterlac, and can’t work out where I’m going wrong. The “wrong side” (part I’m working on) looks brilliant but the other side seems all messy and uneven, the colour changes don’t seem to be even, there’s uppy bits and downy bits. If anyone can tell me what I’m doing wrong please let me know, ill pay you in cookies :P. I also received my Tunisian crochet hook this week, now just waiting to find the perfect wool to test it out with.



"Wrong side"





The wrong side is kinda neat. 



The right side is messy and has some raised bits on it, as im sure you can see. Im not sure where im going wrong. If you think you might be able to help, please let me know, ill give you a cookie : P



Connors managed to total his glasses, glasses that are meant to be child proof. He was trying to get out the back door with a football in his hands. Normally he holds onto the doorframe, but this time he didn’t. Head first onto paving slabs. His ok just a couple of scratches and a lot of tears. The glasses took most of impact so he was bloody lucky. We have to take his glasses back on Thursday to have them mended. I can’t wait I didn’t realise how much he bumped into things without them.

My tooth seems fine a little tender but I can now eat “adult” food like mash potatoes, chocolate, bread again. No longer stuck with soup and mush. Yay thank you tooth for sorting yourself out. Damned dentists.

I seem to be waking up every couple of days with a headache from hell. Not quite a migraine but not far off it. I think it may be something to do with either stress or medication or possibly stress related to medication. It could be too much chocolate or not enough......personally I like the sound of that more then I should. It could be from the weather. I’m refusing to put the heating on yet. It could be from spending so much time on the computer. It could be due to trying to work out why I got a headache. It’s properly that one.

I also got a new laptop this week. It’s one that my partner used. Bigger screen, bigger keyboard, all-round better. I can now play the games I want to though I doubt it will improve my ability to play them. I play CSS a lot. I normally last about a minute and half. I am truly crap at shoot ‘em games.

I have an appointment with Professor Graham, who specialises in EDS, coming up next month. I’m looking forward to it. I have so many questions for him. As it’s almost 3 hours travel there I’m hoping to make a day of it and see some of the sights around London. We’ll properly go to see my partners mum as she lives on the outskirts. Is it a bad sign when you count an appointment at a hospital a day trip? Even better it’s a hospital I haven’t been to before, yay, only question is now, what supports do I wear and should I get the ones that match my undies?

And for all those who are having a bad day, I present to you this picture. I only turnt my back for a second. Imagine the fun I had clearing it up, bearing in mind I had only finished scrubbing the kitchen before dinner. Ta-dar

Dont you just love kids

Baking

Me and Connor made cakes and biccys today. Around four plates of the damned things. Some of them were slightley burnt but then everything i cook is normally burnt to a cinder. I dont have a timer on my cooker so i wait till the fire alarm goes off to tell me its done :D

Biccys!!!!

I had one hell of a migraine yesterday. My partner made me go to bed before 9:30pm. I sure needed it though as i slept almost 12 hours. I had some very weird dreams though. I remeber bits about them. Something about a dragon i had to ask something,but it was drunk and kept chargrilling people. Something about a car crash in which we all survived but ended up in a wildness camp with a bunch of crazies. Who kept trying to dance with us. The only sane person there was dwayne johnson (a former pro wrestler) who every few minutes would give me a teddy and a blanket and tell me it was nap time. Not a clue what any of it ment but woke up very confused.

Connors getting on well with his glasses, other then the fact his bitten the plastic bits off that go on his nose. He can defiently see better now and has a tantrum if i dont give them to him first thing in the morning.

My teeth are really killing. Its been a month now, my gums wont stop bleeding, my teeth are more sensitive now then they were when the nerve was exposed. Im having to use the tooth paste for todlers as when i use adult ones even for sensitve teeth i end up crying where they hurt so much.



I have been crocheting like mad this week and have been thinking about starting a crocheting blog. I might just keep it all on here though as it makes it less stressful