Isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Connors hopefully enjoying his first half day at nursery. I’ve put it off for months even though I needed help. Now I’m sat at home alone listening to the washing machine on a spin cycle. I am bored senseless. His been there almost 3 hours now and I already have my shoes on ready to limp out the door and go get him. Don’t get me wrong I am more than happy to have some time to myself I even managed to do some of the housework. But now the house is just too quite. I am sure that once I get used to being able to pee without a 2yr old trying to pull up my trousers ill settle down a bit and maybe even attempt to make some friends or be really daring and have a cheeky little nap.
The thing people don’t understand when I say about my friends or the lack of is that keeping friends when you have a child is hard enough. Your no longer fun you, pretty much always smell of sick, and instead of a night on the town all you want is to sleep for more than 3 hours without having to do an arse change. Needless to say most my friends disappeared as soon as my bump arrived. Having a child and having EDS makes friends almost as rare as an honest politician. On top of the fore-mentioned there is also the different “elements” of the condition. I’m not just talking about the unsightly supports, the crutches or embarrassing “problems” in public but also the mental and emotional aspects of EDS. If they can get over the physical problems the mental ones are normally the thing that makes them skip my name in the phone book. Depression, anxiety, fatigue, pain. Most people don’t understand how isolated being disabled or being a parent can make you feel. Especially if they don’t have any experience of it. I’m not bitter or angry or even that upset about it now. I have always liked my own company. I just wish that instead or someone thinking”oh no I won’t invite her, she can’t do it” I would rather they let me decide after all it’s my disability, my choice. And just because I have said no once don’t think that I’m always going to say no, maybe the last time you was kind enough to ask I was laid up in bed where as this time I’m ready to shake my booty till something pops!!
My parents paid for both my children to go to nursery early to give me a break. It didn't mean my house was any tidier and I spent a great deal of the time asleep. The problem with EDS is that sleep is often not restorative so whilst others sleep and wake refreshed we wake more knackered and broken. Explaining the 'stuff' about EDS leaves most people bored rigid I find. With only Internet EDS bloggers getting it and my OH really gets it. The person who gets it the most is my daughter with EDS, it means we are emotionally very close. She is twenty and is known for going to all the trouble of getting ready to go out only to lay down for a 'little rest' and missing the party! Most of my parties these days are in my head as people gave up inviting me long ago but I feel guilty about that as I don't invite them to our house. I mean that would mean I would have to tidy up this house and that would take about five years. Throw a party and then you could shake your booty from your bed if necessary!
ReplyDeleteTotally get this post.